...I accept that now. When I first came to BoyChat I was a defeated
man who's life consisted of coming home from work and waiting for father
time to catch up with me. The fight was out of me. I always wonder if things
happen for a reason. At this point in my life a not-so-close but good friend
offered to loan me his laptop because I had never been on the internet
before. He set it up so It would be easier for me to use. When I was alone
I typed in boylove...yes boylove...I knew what we called ourselves. Within
an hour I had found Boychat. Within a few moments I was weeping pathetically
as I typed my rather unbalanced post to BC for the first time. I knew instantly
what BC was all about and did'nt hesitate to uncork my emotions and start
the long road of purging those stale and moldy feelings I have supressed
for years and years. I felt at home and BC held my hand while went through
some tough times...Babel-17 was the first one I E-mailed...he never gave
up on me and gently and lovingly convinced me to post my E-mail...I was
scared...but within days Babel-17 became my first contact outside BC and
I started to open up and accept why I was at BC.
...I was at another low point in my life when Robbie became the first
BL I talked to on the phone. I was again having emotional problems when
Robbie literally begged me for my phone number. He knew I was ready to
crack and insisted I talk to him...I did...and I never regreted it. Robbie
knew exactly what to tell me and listened with the patience of Job.
...I made a decision after Robbies call to be as positive as I could
on BC. The heartbeat Of BC depends on love and sharing and we needed more
of that. Boybuddy became a mentor to me by showing me how to love and see
the best life has to offer no matter how bad it gets. To this day he is
my gaurdian angel. I can't imagine life without him.
...Now the good part. The part that started maybe two or three months
ago when a new poster named Metallihead introduced himself. I remember
reading his first post but can't remember if I said hi or not...but something
clicked right away...who knows...karma? I remember Metallihead talking
in a thread with someone about getting his sig-pic to NOT. I replied..."This
I gotta see" and we started chatting on a regular basis. We seemed to be
able to communicate on some level that mirrored each others lives. We talked
on the phone and realized the possibility of meeting each was a sure thing.
I was all for it. Every instinct told me Metallihead was kindred. He spoke
words I was thinking. He felt the same feelings as I did. We decided to
meet.
...Okay...6:00 at the arcade on Sunday...no problem. All week long..."6:00,
arcade, Sunday" I was meeting my first BL in IRL. I was early and knew
where the arcade was but looked at the directory like a tourist...taking
deep breaths and acting like I was shopping...right. On or about 6:00 pm
the first thing I said to Metallihead was..."Ooops!" Good karma...as we
went to shake hands a nice boy around 8 y.o. almost ran into MH! He scooched
out of the way and before we touched we had our first boymoment. We played
a couple of games...I became instantly bonded to this man...I don't know
if he did or not...but we where getting along pretty good for two people
who just met. We then went to a steak house and looked at pictures and
asked the obligatory questions...but things started to become instinctive...A-1?
Sure...I love A-1! long hair or buzzcuts? Look at that one...no look at
that one! By the time we got our salads Metallihead and I both agreed the
waiter in another section was too cute and we almost arm-wrestled to see
who would be his...friend. After dinner Metallihead and I listened to Mmmbop
by Hanson in his car and knew things were going to be allright. We got
him checked into his hotel and once settled I looked at BC with a fellow
BL for the first time. Yes...things where gonna be allright!
...The weekend..I want to condense my weekend down to feelings..and
laughs! So much to say.
...As Metallihead called me I was doing last minute touches to my home.
I live in a very small one bedroom apartment I own as a condo...inexpensive
but tiny...I kept telling him that I am a man of moderate needs...My apartment
consists of conservative hand-me-downs and my toys. No cable...needs a
little work.
Friday night...I took Metallihead to my friends house...we watched
a movie in the company of a 13 and 10 y.o. boy! Metallihead got the best
hug he's had in a long time from the 10 y.o....tee-hee! I wanted Metallihead
to experiance with me the bond I had with these boys I consider family.
We watched the movie..we did yo-yo stuff...great Friday so far. MH and
I decided to go through irc through my webtv..I knew he had never done
irc so I set up an account..Metalligort...but it came up Metalligo...but
we chatted and laughed and let the BC community know we were together.
...Saturday...Ummmm...Saturday was a boy filled day! We spent the day
watching Lost in Space...going to a major exhibit here in town where boys
are knee deep...we spent the evening anticipating each others thoughts
and appreciating each others desires...we had bonded in a sea of boys.
By the time we got home we were brothers in boylove...we had spent the
day sharing the love and beauty of boys and needed to share our happiness
with the rest of you. We figured out IRC for Metallihead and the floodgates
are open! We chatted till dawn...
...Sunday...very early I told my YF not to be intimidated...I was amongst
friends and that's all...Metallihead and I had but a few hours from going
our seperate ways...I had so many questions to ask about P, G.and M...but
I felt he had told me plenty about love..and I in love with my N...we where
so close...I wanted to snuggle with MH but the regular interruption from
our yf's kept us honest and my fear of breaching his friends trust...
...Sunday night...we shared a rather unusual boymoment...I showed Metallihead
my favorite video...he showed me his...well...stuff! We held each other
in a hug I can't describe! I felt, held and and wished this hug would last
forever...we have connected in a way most humans will never experiance...we
connected on the same level that surpasses all that we have experianced
before...! We both felt the same love..we both appreciated the same qualities
of beauty...we where both boylovers..we are now family. I wish all of us
could meet in a place that appreciated our feelings...but for now my strength
comes from those who believe...thanks for believing in me Metallihead...I
hope we consider ourselves brothers now...Gort
First posted by Gort to BoyWrite on February 01, 1999 at 16:44:24: