I am a boylover


 

 ...I accept that now. When I first came to BoyChat I was a defeated man who's life consisted of coming home from work and waiting for father time to catch up with me. The fight was out of me. I always wonder if things happen for a reason. At this point in my life a not-so-close but good friend offered to loan me his laptop because I had never been on the internet before. He set it up so It would be easier for me to use. When I was alone I typed in boylove...yes boylove...I knew what we called ourselves. Within an hour I had found Boychat. Within a few moments I was weeping pathetically as I typed my rather unbalanced post to BC for the first time. I knew instantly what BC was all about and did'nt hesitate to uncork my emotions and start the long road of purging those stale and moldy feelings I have supressed for years and years. I felt at home and BC held my hand while went through some tough times...Babel-17 was the first one I E-mailed...he never gave up on me and gently and lovingly convinced me to post my E-mail...I was scared...but within days Babel-17 became my first contact outside BC and I started to open up and accept why I was at BC.
...I was at another low point in my life when Robbie became the first BL I talked to on the phone. I was again having emotional problems when Robbie literally begged me for my phone number. He knew I was ready to crack and insisted I talk to him...I did...and I never regreted it. Robbie knew exactly what to tell me and listened with the patience of Job.
...I made a decision after Robbies call to be as positive as I could on BC. The heartbeat Of BC depends on love and sharing and we needed more of that. Boybuddy became a mentor to me by showing me how to love and see the best life has to offer no matter how bad it gets. To this day he is my gaurdian angel. I can't imagine life without him.
...Now the good part. The part that started maybe two or three months ago when a new poster named Metallihead introduced himself. I remember reading his first post but can't remember if I said hi or not...but something clicked right away...who knows...karma? I remember Metallihead talking in a thread with someone about getting his sig-pic to NOT. I replied..."This I gotta see" and we started chatting on a regular basis. We seemed to be able to communicate on some level that mirrored each others lives. We talked on the phone and realized the possibility of meeting each was a sure thing. I was all for it. Every instinct told me Metallihead was kindred. He spoke words I was thinking. He felt the same feelings as I did. We decided to meet.
...Okay...6:00 at the arcade on Sunday...no problem. All week long..."6:00, arcade, Sunday" I was meeting my first BL in IRL. I was early and knew where the arcade was but looked at the directory like a tourist...taking deep breaths and acting like I was shopping...right. On or about 6:00 pm the first thing I said to Metallihead was..."Ooops!" Good karma...as we went to shake hands a nice boy around 8 y.o. almost ran into MH! He scooched out of the way and before we touched we had our first boymoment. We played a couple of games...I became instantly bonded to this man...I don't know if he did or not...but we where getting along pretty good for two people who just met. We then went to a steak house and looked at pictures and asked the obligatory questions...but things started to become instinctive...A-1? Sure...I love A-1! long hair or buzzcuts? Look at that one...no look at that one! By the time we got our salads Metallihead and I both agreed the waiter in another section was too cute and we almost arm-wrestled to see who would be his...friend. After dinner Metallihead and I listened to Mmmbop by Hanson in his car and knew things were going to be allright. We got him checked into his hotel and once settled I looked at BC with a fellow BL for the first time. Yes...things where gonna be allright!
...The weekend..I want to condense my weekend down to feelings..and laughs! So much to say.
...As Metallihead called me I was doing last minute touches to my home. I live in a very small one bedroom apartment I own as a condo...inexpensive but tiny...I kept telling him that I am a man of moderate needs...My apartment consists of conservative hand-me-downs and my toys. No cable...needs a little work.
Friday night...I took Metallihead to my friends house...we watched a movie in the company of a 13 and 10 y.o. boy! Metallihead got the best hug he's had in a long time from the 10 y.o....tee-hee! I wanted Metallihead to experiance with me the bond I had with these boys I consider family. We watched the movie..we did yo-yo stuff...great Friday so far. MH and I decided to go through irc through my webtv..I knew he had never done irc so I set up an account..Metalligort...but it came up Metalligo...but we chatted and laughed and let the BC community know we were together.
...Saturday...Ummmm...Saturday was a boy filled day! We spent the day watching Lost in Space...going to a major exhibit here in town where boys are knee deep...we spent the evening anticipating each others thoughts and appreciating each others desires...we had bonded in a sea of boys. By the time we got home we were brothers in boylove...we had spent the day sharing the love and beauty of boys and needed to share our happiness with the rest of you. We figured out IRC for Metallihead and the floodgates are open! We chatted till dawn...
...Sunday...very early I told my YF not to be intimidated...I was amongst friends and that's all...Metallihead and I had but a few hours from going our seperate ways...I had so many questions to ask about P, G.and M...but I felt he had told me plenty about love..and I in love with my N...we where so close...I wanted to snuggle with MH but the regular interruption from our yf's kept us honest and my fear of breaching his friends trust...
...Sunday night...we shared a rather unusual boymoment...I showed Metallihead my favorite video...he showed me his...well...stuff! We held each other in a hug I can't describe! I felt, held and and wished this hug would last forever...we have connected in a way most humans will never experiance...we connected on the same level that surpasses all that we have experianced before...! We both felt the same love..we both appreciated the same qualities of beauty...we where both boylovers..we are now family. I wish all of us could meet in a place that appreciated our feelings...but for now my strength comes from those who believe...thanks for believing in me Metallihead...I hope we consider ourselves brothers now...Gort

First posted by Gort to BoyWrite on February 01, 1999 at 16:44:24:


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