Posted by kabouter on September 19, 1997 at 21:25:00:

to you,again

in the quiet moment when I am hurting
I think of you
and when my self-respect hits the floor again
your memory keeps my hope alive
when I am nameless I call out your name
when I am longing for my death I dream of your life

Thirty years ago I dreamed I was in love
with a yellow haired boy who counted the minutes between tears
whose silver voice was the joy of the morning
whose waking moments were my lifetime

in a dream of a boy under the pine trees
whose freckles were the starflowers of a sunny cornfield
whose liquid laughter was my year
whose white hair was my honey candyfloss

we spoke only of love and sorrow
who spent his days on the bright yellow sand
whose playmates were starfish in the cool deep water
between the rocks that tore like wounds
in the bay

he lost his boyhood in a frown, I lost my life
there where the trees sing to the sea
I lost my love for the way life used to be
a shout a roar the day smashed into the bitter sky
blood on the rocks - fallen to early death

walking I saw my god in the rising heat
where the air was a crash a crush
in the brown field I climbed without love
to the small place where dreams are fish
swimming at noon

in the broken bay I see again your blue eyes
shining with boy
reaching my soul
that green beauty
follows the marionette hours

my only loss was love
my night-fragrance
my music in the song
my dream treasure trove
only your laugh remembered makes my whole life
complete

kabouter 19.9.97