Agony

Every minute I see you Lie down beside her in someone else's room Your eyes are alight with laughter and you move your beautiful body to the tune of your lust. Ever such a graceful dancer You stopped breath as you spun on the floor Now she feels you move with her And your urgency enter her like a sword. I would die for such a gentle wound Give up my life for a moment Of that bright agony. You are hard and warm inside her In the darkness She knows your power Feels your strength move her like a wave would on the beach. I hear you giggle Your joy in your beauty And her love of your body Your flat stomach, strong wide shoulders, child's waist Impossible roundness of buttock and legs like an athlete A warrior. You were never mine although I have loved you more than my life itself Last night I looked at your penis In awe. I could worship such a god Set it up before me on an altar Spend days and nights in mute prostration before such a wonder. Something that beautiful Is owned by another. Rattle the tiles on the roof Break the branches from the tree Throw bricks down the chimney Because you do not belong to me. I sit here alone in a cold room Imagining these things And my head explodes with envy and desire My nerves shout in pain and anger For this is your triumph The meaning of your life And I have lost my way. (You would never hurt me, this I do To myself) I was wrought wrong And all my life I have sought Dreams like you And all my life I have settled for dust Now I write words on a keyboard Trying to make the pain expire. She is nothing to you Just a vessel for your lust But she steals from me Everything I desire. You are sleeping now Prince of my passion. Your energy spent She has taken your fire. How long till she chooses another? (She has done this before) And leaves you crying at her door? I will be here boy of my dreams You have a place to anchor with me And even though I cannot enjoy your body (As she can!) You can always come to me. I will sit there again By your bed and comfort your head When fever strikes you Even when you are old And until I am dead. And after I am dead I will Rattle the tiles off the roof Break the branches from the tree Throw bricks down the chimney Because you do not belong to me.